This might actually end up being the first part of a many-part series.  I originally set out to write a post about the most ridiculous moments of the second Joel Schumacher-directed Batman movie, BATMAN & ROBIN.

Instead, I found myself with a plethora of screencaps -- all in the first seven minutes of the movie!  You know, the moments that made you face-palm yourself.  The moments where you realize that it is painfully obvious that Tim Burton had zero association with this film (he served as producer on BATMAN FOREVER).

Let's get this thing started, shall we...


Oh, for crying out loud...Batnipples!  Eek!  What the hell was the costume department thinking?!  Who approved this?  Sadly, this is our first look at the Dark Knight in BATMAN & ROBIN.

And, yes, that trend continued with Robin's wardrobe.  Just...what...the...hell?  Oh, but it didn't end there...

Batbutt!  Although, to be fair, we got our first glimpse of Batbutt in BATMAN FOREVER (albeit Kilmer's had …

Hey!  Hope everyone had a fantastic holiday!  Now, Christmas is over and New Year's is approaching.  So I'll take this time to look back at some of the neat items I received this year.

First up, pictured above in the post header, is a set of 1991 McDonald's Happy Meal toys for BATMAN RETURNS.  Confession: I didn't receive these as a gift.  I actually bought these for my son and figured I'd get some fun out of them as well.


Next up is the bluray box set for the CHILD'S PLAY series.  I've had my eye on this since it was announced and for whatever reason I never pulled the trigger on purchasing.  Now I don't have to worry about thanks to my sister.  
And seated right next to that is a triple feature of THE LOST BOYS series.  Say what you will about the sequels, but I rather enjoy them.  So thanks to my wonderful fiancee, I know own all three.

And the final gift I'll share is the 30th Anniversary NECA A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET Freddy Krueger figure.  F…

Literally just finished watching SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOY MAKER. And I must say, it’s hands down my favorite of the series – well, of the sequels, that is. So what if it has absolutely nothing to do with the first two (three, really). And I’m okay with it ignoring INITIATION (thank God!).

So let’s get down to the nitty gritty with THE TOY MAKER. The movie revolves around a toy store owner named Joe Petto, and yes, that’s super obvious. Oh, and Petto is played by Mickey Rooney, who back in 1984 slammed the filmmakers of SNDN1 for their use of a killer Santa. Well, flash to 1991 and Rooney is starring in the fifth installment of that franchise – and he even dons a Santa suit at one point in the film while abducting a child. Had the internet existed back then, he would have been crucified by genre fans.

Okay, I need to get back on track here. There really isn’t any one main character this time around. In fact, all the major players here seem to share the same amoun…

So 1989 saw the release of one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made in NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION. But there was another Christmas movie that came out that year that seems to slip under people’s holiday radar. And this one also had Johnny Galecki (Rusty in CHRISTMAS VACATION) in it! Of course I’m referring to PRANCER.

I caught PRANCER for the first time when I was just a little kid in the early ‘90s, maybe four or five at the time. It was on cable TV. I remember a feeling of overwhelming enchantment while watching it as a youngster. I just recently re-watched the film a few nights ago. And honestly, it still holds up and delivers that same childish charm.

Let’s recap a little. PRANCER tells the story of Jessica Riggs, a warm-hearted, bright-eyed girl in the Midwest. She lives with her father and brother on an apple farm in Northwest Indiana. We learn that her mother passed away a couple years ago from cancer. The role of Jessica’s father is played to a T …

Remember the insanely awesome Halloween special from The Sexy Armpit?  Well our good friend Jay is back with the first-ever Sexy Armpit Christmas Special 2014!

So once again, sit back, relax...and learn what Sludgey's Christmas wish is...
Sludgey desperately wants Jay to mail his letter to Santa. He refuses and issues a challenge and if he loses he'll be walking to the post office. Also, the guys have a surprise visitor for the holidays. Written and directed by Jay from SexyArmpit.com and music credits are listed at the end of the video.
Be sure to visit The Sexy Armpit!

The saga of Ricky Caldwell has come to a close and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION starts anew (although there is a homeless character named Ricky, played by Clint Howard, who could very well be Ricky Caldwell).  I knew this little tidbit going into SNDN4, but I didn't let it deter me, for I was (am) on a quest to slice my way through the SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT franchise.

Like my viewing and subsequent rundown of SNDN3, I was only able to obtain a VHS copy of INITIATION.  But unlike BETTER WATCH OUT!, this one didn't have embedded subtitles!  Yay -- minor victory.

The film revolves around a coven of witches, and the initiation process to join the coven.

A woman who works for the local news takes it upon herself to investigate the recent the death of a woman who fell from the roof of a building in flames.  A mysterious homeless guy named Ricky (Clint Howard) -- and I don't believe this is supposed to be the Ricky from SNDN2 -- shows up and is in and out of the…

It's that time of the month again -- no, not that time -- and the Dinosaur Dracula December 2014 Funpack has arrived on my doorstep!

Once again, Matt nails the holiday goodness!  And instead of a list of contents this time around, wee given instructions on how to enjoy the contents!

Pop in the included "Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Didn't Happen" DVD.Sit on the floor and review the rest of your Funpack's contents while the movie plays.Page through you new/old Gremlins sticker album.  Ain't it great?!Look in the Ziploc bag for a few stickers to get you started.  There's some other neat stuff in there, too!Occasionally look up at the movie, and see if you recognize Edie McClurg's voice.  I love her.Take great pleasure in the latest Dino Drac Specimen -- a real film cell from A Christmas Story!Check out your Holiday Warriors 3-Pack!  Why not draw and color them on the back of this page?Hang your 1992 Energizer Bunny promotional tree ornament!Put y…

Last night's episode of STALKER, titled "Tell All", tells the story of an author who is being stalked by someone who has read the original manuscript for her new book.  The suspect pool is small, considering only a select few people have been privy to this.

Also, we get some good subplot action in the episode!

Stalker -- S01E11 -- "Tell All"


The opening for “Tell All” may be the shortest one yet.  A woman all alone in her house hears a strange noise coming from downstairs while her security alarm is buzzing.  She investigates and hears more noises.  A silhouetted figure appears behind her – she runs to the door, and into the arms of an officer.  Cut to title card.

After the break, we find Jack Larsen out for a morning jog when he runs into his son, Ethan.  His son grills him with questions that he shouldn’t know about.  For once, Jack isn’t the one who made contact.  It was Ethan this time.  And honestly, I’m glad we got a little of Jack’s subplot in this one.

…

This week's STALKER, titled "A Cry for Help", was a unique episode that took a very real real-life event that many people go through and managed to make it a relative story for all.

Needless to say, "A Cry for Help" was great.

Stalker -- S01E10 -- "A Cry for Help"

The episode kicks off with the cold opening stalk scene.  This time in  a bus parking garage.  And again, and again, no one bites the bullet in this opening.  Instead, a bus driver is beat to a pulp by a mysterious shadowy figure.  Clearly a female attacker with some serious self-defense training.

The episode really starts to hits its stride when it's revealed that the stalker's motive(s) are extremely personal.  The next victim (who doesn't die, by the way) is a hairstylist who gets attacked while closing up shop for the night.  Again, the attacker is female...and her identity is revealed.

Apparently, the stalker in this episode is targeting the people who participated in her rap…

Everybody loves a giveaway every now and then, right?

Want to win a Digital HD copy of Arnold Schwarzenegger's PUMPING IRON?  Entry is easy!  Just watch the trailer and post your thoughts in the comments!  One random winner will be selected and emailed by yours truly.



Each household is only eligible to win One (1) Pumping Iron Digital Download via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Well, the only copy of SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT III: BETTER WATCH OUT! that I could track down was a VHS copy with embedded subtitles.  So I figured oh hell, what better way to view SNDN3, right?  So let's begin.

The movie starts with a way-bright-than-it-needs-to-be dream sequence where our main character, Laura (who's blind, by the way), is sitting on Santa's lap as a grown adult, until he pulls a knife on her and she awakens screaming at the top of her lungs.  Which, let me just say, watching this scene on an old VHS, can be ear-piercing!

Regardless, the movie starts out incredibly slow, despite the cold opening dream sequence.  Once Laura awakes, we find out she's in some sort of lab, hooked up to all sorts of machines and monitors -- part of some kind of dream monitoring sleep study, I suppose.

And then we find out that she's one room over from Ricky Caldwell (this time played by genre fave Bill Moseley), the killer from SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (B…

This past Thanksgiving, while at my mom's for dinner, I found myself looking through a box of old photos.  In the box, I found an old Christmas photo from December, 1989.  It's one of classic "sitting on Santa's lap" pictures.  In this one, it's me and my cousin at a log cabin in our hometown.  I chose not to blur out my cousin's face so I could take a second to point out those eyeglasses.  You can laugh now.


So here's the photo in its entirety.  Why me and my cousin are holding hands, I have no idea.  But let's take a second to examine a few of the particulars of this photo.

First on the docket is me.  Yeah, that's an Osh-Kosh flannel, tucked in.  Don't hate.  Okay, you can hate.  The jeans are probably Levi's.  The look on my face is like, "Yeah, I'm here, and that's Santa.
Now let's zoom in a little...

Yes, that's a Michelangelo figure from the 1989 line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures!  And this…